


opaque gray

by emava



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Prostitution, Miscommunication, Multi, POV Alternating, Very angst, mentions of drug use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:33:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28573815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emava/pseuds/emava
Summary: Breaking up in the prison's visiting area through the phone and behind the glass wall, would later be written in Eren's 'regrets' list so Levi knew well enough to not dwell on it,until three months pass and not once does Eren visit him again.So now that he's out and free and is staring at the deep wrinkles between Eren's eyebrows, he thinks back to the last time they held each other.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ok so, here is my first attempt at publishing an ereri fanfic. the chapters are going to be very short but i believe it's necessary for the vibe im trying to achieve so i do hope you enjoy just as much as i've enjoyed writing this.
> 
> also, to make your imagination a bit easier, i considered the circumstances and decided to have Levi be a bit taller than in aot.
> 
> so in total Levi is 167 - 168 (in centimeters ofc) and Eren is about the same height as he is after the time skip, 180cm.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I told you not to come.”
> 
> “What was I supposed to do? Leave you in the middle of fucking nowhere? Get in the goddamn car.”  
> -

The sun dimly lightens up the small room, as it had not fully rose up to the sky itself. The small breeze caressing their skin laid out bare to the walls watching them felt like nothing when the warmth of both men - Levi would laugh at that, “You? A _man_? I’d categorize you as a brainless brat if I had the authority” - heated up their shared space and the covers spread above their tangled legs.

“It’s grown quite a lot. Don’t want to cut it?” Eren smiles when he feels a hand running through his hair.

“I don’t know.” He shrugs, “What do you think?”

“I like it.” Levi’s voice came out muffled from where he had his face ruffling the crown of Eren’s head, breathing in the scent of a weird mixture of coconut and mint shampoo. _Creep_ , Eren thinks.

“Then no it is.” He looks up from where his head had been resting on the Levi’s chest, smiling when he is facing the familiar look.

It’s not long before Levi diminishes any distance between their lips, feeling content, feeling at peace within the boy’s presence.

The feeling is long since dead right now, when there’s no need for a glass to hold them apart.

“I told you not to come.” He narrows his eyes with a twitch in one. Levi notices something, _you’ve grown it._

Eren’s not surprised by the latter’s express of arrogance. If anything, he pities the look on Levi’s face; anger, haughtiness and pride. _I see prison hasn’t changed you_. Eren jest’s to himself, he’s not letting the proud egotistical big-headed son-of-a-bitch sense even a bit of amusement in him. He moves from the way he had his back pressed against the small black sedan with his hands crossed over his chest to open the door, his plain black t-shirt sticks to his back from sweat. Eren hesitates for a moment, _you look thin._ “What was I supposed to do? Leave you in the middle of fucking nowhere? Get in the goddamn car.” He mentally shrugs away whatever faltering thought that had bothered his mind and doesn’t wait for a comeback when he shuts the door close harsher than he had meant to and sits there for Levi to do a move towards the car and ease the growing irritation and impatience in the pit of his stomach. He thinks of the last time he had felt such a way; the cause, the same person as right now, situation, slightly different.

Eren’s anger management classes do not come in handy when he’s creaking the steering wheel, soon to be followed by whacking the wheel nearly out of junction and _almost_ breaking the window when he smashes the door close behind him for the second time since he’s seen Levi after three months. (He laughs inwardly for if he had thought about it back then, he’d think he would run across fields and deserts to have Levi in his arms again. Not break a fucking car window.)

It only fuels up his anger when he’s met by Levi heading anywhere but his car. Eren thinks he might even head back to that godforsaken place if only to feed his pride.

Next thing he knows it, he’s yanking the back of Levi’s collar and shoving him against a single lamppost standing their inadequately under the burning sun. With both hands holding a tight grip on his collar, he doesn’t even have to _try_ look intimidating for if it had been anyone but Levi, they’d be scared shitless by only the mere difference of their heights. But Levi? He only stares back with that same damn look on his face.

“If it weren’t for _me_ you’d be sentenced for years in that shithole, rotting to your death. The least thing you can do is swallow down your damn _fucking_ pride and follow me into that shitfuck of a car. I pulled strings out of my dad’s fucking _asshole_ to have you standing here right now! So you better not give me a reason to ram your dense head against this fucking concrete.” Eren growls as he shakes Levi with his collar, making sure he puts enough strength into his action.

“Never asked for your concern, if I remember clearly you stated exactly where we were at the last time we saw each other. What happened to never fucking looking back? _Daddy didn’t accept you back with open arms_?” Levi coos, he tries to at least, for a nail burns into his back and the pain shoots right through his side and makes him wince, his left eye is now shutting close completely with every twitch, “To fuck with you and your damned string-pulling. I never asked for your shitty burden and your need to satisfy your deprived self-esteem.” Levi spits out, jerking Eren’s hands away from his collar and shoves him back a few steps in a display of dominance. “Better have left me to rot.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you first fucked me.” The words sting Eren’s tongue, this whole conversation stings his damn _heart_ , “Now you can get in the car and have a safe easy ride back to the city or walk your soles away before the first fucking cars even start to show up.” Eren straightens his shirt and turns around.

“I’m not waiting for you this time.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I hate this fucking car, I hate this fucking road, I hate the fucking sun and I hate cactus._
> 
> -

The ride back is nauseating, at least for Eren it is.

 _What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Just simply drive back to our place without anything said? Is this ride gonna be this fucking silent the entire time? Or should I take him back to his own place? I can’t fucking do that, can I? Oh for fucks sake_. Eren holds back from biting down on his lip or showing any kind of display of anxiousness and weakness, any display that Levi can hold against him and rile him up; make him regret ever being a pick-up ride for the man, Levi knew him well enough to control him like a damn puppet.

Cold, the tension is cold. Eren thinks back to when he had drove back to who he had left behind out of pure rage – not at Levi, but at himself for letting the man’s words get to him and make him regret his decisions – and nearly begged for him to get in the car. _‘I’m not waiting for you this time’, you’re pathetic._ Eren thinks. Now here he is, sitting to his right with a slight bounce in his leg; a bounce that only feeds to the uneasiness of their state.

With each jump, Eren began to hate something new.

_I hate this fucking car._

_I hate this fucking road._

_I hate the fucking sun._

_I hate cactus._

_I hate this aura._

_I hate this silence._

_I hate seeing him so distant._

_I hate seeing him so... so **frail**._

_I hate that I didn’t touch him as gently as I wish I had done._

_I hate that I lost my temper._

_I hate that I let it take over me._

_I hate that I’m blaming myself right now._

_I hate that I miss his gentle look._

_I hate that I’m the cause of all this._

_It’s not his fault. It never was._

_I fucking hate myself._

“You’re going to break the damn steering wheel- hey, _wait- fuck!”_ Levi’s breath is flown out of his lungs when he’s smashed against the car door and the car itself is being steered to a tight left. “What the fuck?!” Levi curses under his breath and tries to get a hold on himself when the car suddenly stops and nearly throws him out of it, the seatbelt leaving probable marks on his skin, “You could’ve gotten us _killed_ \- Eren?”

Eren has one hand holding shut his mouth when the other is searching for the door handle. The more time it takes for him to open the door and the more the confusion on Levi’s face turns into something of concern and worry, the more yesterday’s dinner pushes up from his stomach. _Instant noodles and fried chicken,_ he can taste it on his tongue.

As soon as he opens the door, he runs out of the car, runs away from Levi and dumps the nausea on to the sand covered concrete a fair distance away from the car, a fair distance away from Levi.

Levi’s fast to react, he hurriedly unlocks the seatbelt and jumps out of the car.

Walking towards where Eren had sat down to empty his stomach, “What’s the problem-” he’s trying his best to not sound irritated.

“Take a wild fucking guess.” Eren shakily wipes at his mouth, finding it hard to get to his feet and face the man standing behind him, “Fuck you.” He manages to add.

“I came with you as you fucking wanted me to. What else do you want me to do, serenade my undying love for you to break the damn silence? It’s not like we’re on a fucking road trip you insolent brat.”

“Punch me in the face and that would hurt more.” Eren feels another gag building up in his throat. “I don’t need your serenading, I need you to fucking yell at me and kick me in the guts for what it takes. I need _you_ to ram _my_ head onto this fucking concrete and take it all out of your system instead of just- just sitting there with your stupid _fucking_ jumpy leg like a fucking psychopath on a leash!” Eren shouts, “I _need_ you to talk.”

Levi feels weak in his knees when those last words are spoken so drained. He feels weak when he has once again made Eren fragile and exhausted. “What do you want me to talk about?” He sighs and gets on one knee behind the boy, the bare skin of it pressing harshly against the sandy cement. One hand rests on his standing knee while the other reaches out to grab Eren by his shoulder, “Prison wasn’t fun if that’s what you want to know.” He places the hand on where he had his eyes locked on and tugs at Eren to turn him around. Eren only looks back over his shoulder, “other than that I have nothing to say.”

“Don’t fucking lie”

“You’re so fucking stupid. You’re so frustratingly fucking stupid.” Levi gives in, as calmly as his temper is capable of cooperating with. His hands itch for a touch on the boy’s hair to keep them out of his face, “What do I have to say to you? That you’re the reason why I was there in the first place? That you had no _fucking_ right to go ahead and break up with me while I was behind cell bars and then proceed to fucking free me out of that shithole after three months of going M.I.A? What the fuck do you think I am? A five year old? I’m not just gonna say that because that’s what your thick skulled brain wants to hear since it’s just _not fucking true_ you- you _scum._ I’ll wait for you in the damn car while you have your annual mental breakdown in the middle of god knows where. Break a fucking leg while you’re at it.”

_“Sex trafficking?” my eyes go wide when I word them out._

_“I didn’t want you to find out about it this way- listen, **Eren** ” I turn around when I hear Levi closing the door behind us, his hands hastily move toward my arms to hold me where I stand._

_“Don’t tell me to fucking listen.” I stumble back, wary of the hands reaching out to touch me, wary of_ _Levi, “What the fuck is wrong with you. This isn’t what we signed up for! This isn’t- **this isn’t what we do**!” “Eren you need to calm down. **Babe** , listen to me, calm down. **Breathe**. Breathe for me.”_

_“I- I **can’t** ” I choke. Maybe if it weren’t for the way my lungs had indistinctly screamed for a bit of air and oxygen, I wouldn’t let him hold me and gently lead me to the bed and sit me there. Maybe if it weren’t for my hyperventilating I wouldn’t let him trace calming circles on my back and let him whisper soothing words into my ear. Maybe if it weren’t for my pain, I wouldn’t let him kiss my neck, kiss it all away._

_“ **I’m sorry** ”_

He’s thrown out of memory lane when he feels the sun slowly roast his brain and the vomit sitting there under his nose, the stench making him want to throw up whatever’s left. He stands up and pats away the dirt on his dark blue jeans and straightens his shirt. _I’m a fucking mess._ He heads for the car, feeling dizzy on his feet.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I can’t tell if you’re talking about this or the fact that I’m sitting behind the steering wheel.” Levi says, not doubting for a moment that Eren would worry over his health and how cigarettes kill, “I can’t decide which one’s more stupid.” He scoffs, slowly moving his eyes to look back at the boy.

“You don’t even know where we are. I’m driving.” Eren doesn’t touch on the fact that Levi had thought he would care for a second if he was smoking, because he did.

“You’re fucking joking with me. You nearly got the both of us killed with your inane vomit fit and reckless driving. Like hell I’m gonna let you repeat that the next time you feel like welcoming the floor with the insides of your stomach.” He takes in a smoke, “Get in the car.” he breathes it out.

"I'll drive as you struggle with whatever the fuck you wanna struggle with."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your cooking tastes better than that.” “ _What’s wrong with my cooking?_ ”
> 
> “Just get the fucking point.”
> 
> -

It’s hard, it’s hard not being able to calm Eren’s tension and place a hand on the boy’s thigh in a sense of reassurance and security. It’s hard, Levi can admit, but he’s too stuck up to show otherwise.

He thinks about when he had opened the dashboard in hopes of finding the one thing he needed and ended up with exactly that, a cigarette in his mouth with a newly opened cigarette pack looking straight back at him.

The sensation caused by his idiotic thoughts made him feel like a child, _did he buy those for me? Or has he started smoking again? Ah, fuck’s sake._

“You’ve grown it.” He doesn’t know why he says it, maybe because he longs for the simplest sound to leave the boy or because he just can’t help but feel the warmth he so extremely wanted gone. Or _maybe_ he just wanted the boy to move a damn muscle since he had that same posture for the last two fucking hours. Maybe even because he can’t have Eren throwing up all over again, being well aware of the boy’s stomach issues.

The ride had been more time-consuming than anything. No speeding and no distraction seemed to make the pace go slower even when they had entered the rough ends of the city. Levi tried focusing on many things, most importantly the road. When that hadn’t worked, he moved his focus on anything his mind had access to, from the slight itch on his left knee from when he had kneeled down to confront the boy to the dangling accessory hanging from the rearview mirror _. A small baby cupid_ , Levi had found it ironic.

“What?”

“Your hair, you’ve grown it.” The boy looks back at him but Levi refuses to make any form of eye contact, be it from the corner of his eyes or straight on face to face. _Eyes on the road,_ he mentally notes as he reads a sign to help navigate his path. He knew the city well enough to ride around with his eyes closed but for the sake of his sanity, he decided to consume as much as information as he could from his surroundings.

“And you look like you haven’t eaten shit for days. What the fuck is up with that? You want to kill yourself or something?” Eren then mumbles a few incomprehensive words under his breath.

The fact that Eren’s posture (knees under his chin and back hunched over the seatbelt) hadn’t moved the slightest bit in Levi’s attempt to do so pulls a sigh out of his lungs and he finds it almost comical how Eren managed to keep that posture with his extremely tall legs for such an amount of time, “Prison food tastes like shit. I don’t even know what they put in it to make the digestion so fucking hard. Your cooking tastes better than that.”

“ _What’s wrong with my cooking_?” Eren nearly breaks his neck when he turns to throw a sharp glare at the man accusing him of being a shitty cook.

“Just get the fucking point.” Levi can’t help the faint smile growing on his lips.

Eren dismisses any words he wanted to say, he’s too exhausted to speak out his mind right now. He only sighs and loosens up his tense muscles and sits straight, feeling every single one of his bones crack under the flesh of his organs.

“I’m not a shitty cook.” he can’t help it, he’s too stubborn to do so.

“I never said that.”

“Well, you fucking implied it, you ungrateful asshole.” Eren sulks in his seat and Levi smirks at his actions. _Fuck you_ , Eren thinks.

An hour or two passes, silence fills up their ears after their ‘domestic argument’ – Eren had thought – and now the anxiousness is rising up again. He wishes he had the ability to turn back time to when he could sit straight and comfortable in the presence of Levi. When Eren notices the twitch in his hand, he wishes Levi wouldn’t hesitate to grab his thigh. He wishes for many things, and yet he despises each and every single one of them.

 _Where will we go after this?_ He wonders and the car halts to a stop. _What will we do next?_

“Get out.”

.

It looks the same as they had left it last time, or more likely _Levi_ had left it with handcuffs. The coffee table looks the same; the last proper meal Levi had still placed atop the glass, now it's his turn to gag.

“What the fuck, Eren.”

The kitchen was left untouched, as it always had, for neither Eren nor Levi were that committed to make a move and cook food. Only when special occasions came by would Eren decide to cook a simple meal much to Levi’s disdain, and with no filter to cover his disgust and appall, Eren would smack him in the head with the same wooden spoon he had used to make the meal. Hell, the _whole place_ looked untouched and yet, so far-off from what Levi had grown to love; which makes him question whether Eren had bothered to come and check on the place after what happened here last time or not.

He pays no heed to Eren’s rush towards the toilet for he’s too overflown by his sense of cleanliness, wanting to make the place as spotless as it had once been.

Eren, on the other hand, had decided to go into another vomit fit to clear out whatever had been left at the pit of his stomach. He felt disgusting, from the way his hair stuck to one another to the way his breath smelled like sour stomach acid. Whilst the other is distracted by the state of the house, he is distracted by washing his mouth and taking a shower.

.

“Where’s money? I ordered some food.” Levi calls from the other side of the door as Eren is drying his hair with a towel.

“Take some from the money jar.” For a moment he hopes the door handle turns open and Levi steps in to make things right, _what better time to do so?_ Eren thinks. His hands stilled on his hair, his muscles tense, expecting any sudden movement from the door. His eyes are focused on the handle and his breath stuck in his lungs. He then laughs, frustrated, for his actions were the peak of his naïve mind.

The door opens. “Hurry the fuck up or I’ll piss all over your damn clothes.”

 _Fair enough,_ Eren thinks. _I can cope with that._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I would’ve loved it if you had joined me back there and helped a little but I like the way this looks.” Eren turns around to see Levi leaning against the doorway, hands crossed against his chest. “So you wanted to talk.”
> 
> -

Eren’s body doesn’t help the sense he’s trying to apply to their condition. A condition where he’s sitting on Levi’s lap and Levi, well he can’t help but apply his _frustration_ onto the skin of Eren’s neck. As mentioned, Eren’s body is no help at all when he cranes his neck to give the other more space to bite on. He wonders if leaving the room with only denim shorts to cover him was such a great idea. _You wanted this._ Eren thinks to himself.

“Levi stop- this, this isn’t _okay- ah!_ ” He manages to say before Levi’s hands go further down the back of his shorts, having been loosened up a few minutes ago when Levi had unzipped them. Although he would very much appreciate a butt massage right now, someone has to put an end to all this before it gets out of hand.

“Hmm…” Levi’s too involved to stop, his body moves without his permission, “what’s wrong?” he tries to gain some control and sighs as he slouches back on the couch, his hands trace a path from Eren’s back and around his waist, “Do you just want to sit around and talk about irrelevant shit until we end up _actually_ breaking up or do you want to ease the tension and just get it over with. Because I’d rather fuck _you_ than have to handle this stick by myself.” His hands manage to find their way on Eren’s thighs, lay there as if it’s where they belong.

“I’d rather talk and _then_ let you have your go with my asshole, so can we just? You know? Talk? Sex can’t solve everything.”

“So far it has.” Levi looks out of it, uninterested in nothing other than the places he has his hands on.

“Levi, please.”

“Okay, _fine._ ” Levi grunts, “But if you’ll excuse me for just a moment, I really need to get this fixed. Haven’t had a proper one for months.” He smirks.

Eren rolls his eyes as the small yet older man sits up so that the distance between their chests is the bare minimum and the only thing stopping them from kissing each other is, well nothing. So, obviously, Levi leans in and stays there for a moment, tasting the chinese food on Eren’s lips.

Eren’s bare chest feels odd against the cloth of Levi’s shirt, he likes it nonetheless.

Levi remembers when he first saw the boy, _so small_. _Look at him now, almost twice the size of me. For fuck's sake my neck hurts by only just kissing him like this._ He would never have imagined back then that such a day would come, he also never would’ve imagined he’d ever be part of the most wanted criminals in the whole east side of the country. Life works in funny ways.

Eren reaches a hand behind Levi’s neck and holds it firm, fearing if he’d let go, he’d never feel the man ever again. A few seconds pass and when both decide it’s still not time to die from asphyxiation, Levi disconnects their lips and they stay like that for a few more seconds, heaving breathlessly and collided foreheads keeping them stable.

“Please do get off me whenever you feel like it.” Is what Levi says, not truly meaning it. He firmly grabs Eren's sides, trying to show he actually _doesn't_ want him to leave but who is Levi to say that out loud?

Maybe the feeling is common with Eren, Levi wonders when the boy hesitates and moves down his head to kiss him one last time before getting off his lap.

Levi doesn’t miss the smug look on Eren when he moves away, probably because he was the cause of Levi’s not-so-small erection.

And yes, Eren was extremely proud.

As Levi heads for the bathroom, Eren cleans up a bit. He gets up and takes the oyster pails to the kitchen where he would throw them in the garbage bin and then proceed to wash his hands. _Don’t want to get involved with ‘operation relieve Levi’s dick’ back there._ He grabs two glasses from the cabinet above the sink and a glass of wine from the cabinet beside it, places them on the kitchenette, sits on a barstool, fidgets with his hands and waits for Levi.

_“What are you doing?”_

_“Nothing.”_

_“Well you’re not doing **nothing** , obviously. What are you doing?” _

_“Will you shut the fuck up for a moment?”_

_“Well if you were to tell me what you’re doing…”_

_“Just, have some patience, eh? You brat.”_

_“Come on, just tell me and stop nagging at me like a little bitch. What the hell are you doing?”_

_“I’m trying to find a recipe for your stupid birthday cake okay? Now will you hop off my dick?”_

_“I’d like to hop **on** it but whatever you wish. My birthday’s in, like a week. What are you doing_ _looking for a recipe?”_

_“Early procedures? I don’t know. Better be ready than fuck things up.”_

_“What’s with pastry chef Levi anyway? We always order the cake from outside, is this your way of coping with your midlife existential crisis? Baking?”_

_“You know what? Fuck you.”_

_Sex on the kitchenette isn’t one of my proudest moments. The cleaning up afterwards is also, not a very proud moment of mine._

“I would’ve loved it if you had joined me back there and helped a little but I like the way this looks.” Eren turns around to see Levi leaning against the doorway, hands crossed against his chest. “So you wanted to talk.”

“I was hoping you wanted to talk too.”

“I do.”

“Well you’re not doing a very good job at showing it.” Eren spits, harsher than he had hoped it would’ve been.

Levi sighs and makes a move to sit on the bar stool stated at the head of the kitchenette, he pours a glass of wine for himself and chugs it down like water. “I didn’t want you to get involved-” “Are you fucking kidding-”

“Shut your mouth, I’m doing the talking.” Levi’s left eye twitches, he sighs before continuing, “Eren we needed the money.”

“No I won’t shut my damn mouth,” Eren interrupts again, “what the fuck Levi? Why would we need the money? And you didn’t want me to get involved? I’m involved in all that shit whether you like it or not. Now stop bullshiting me and tell me why you _really_ did it.”

“I fucking told you, you’re just too dense to fathom it.”

“I’m not a fucking child, _Levi_. We had enough to last us a decade! But now it’s all gone because you’re too greedy for more.”

“Would you rather sleep on the fucking streets or be able to suck my dick under a safe roof without any worries? Half the things we own aren’t even ours to begin with. For the love of fucking god what’d you want me to do? Have _him_ confiscate all our belongings as it’s his fucking right to do so or do something about it? If you didn’t act like such a bitch three months ago we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”

“Oh don’t you even dare play that card right now. I had every right to act the way I did and you fucking know it. You could at least thank me for freeing you instead of calling me a- _wait_ , what did you say?”

“You heard me. He was going to take everything we had. Our home, our money, everything. All he wanted was a small last job and we would get it over with, the places would be in our names and he’d cut all his access to our bank accounts. But fucking _Jean_ had to put his dick where it didn’t belong and blow our cover.”

“This still doesn’t change the fact that you’re an absolute _fucking_ idiot! We don’t need the houses, or the money, or anything. If you’d have informed me like a trustworthy boyfriend would do to their lover, we could’ve found a way out of this.”

“Oh please don’t be so damn naïve,” Levi sighs, aggravated, “It’s not all fun and games, you and me both know that. What the fuck were we going to do, go back and seek help from daddy? Or maybe seek for a roof from your twinkly twinkly little friends until we figure out our shit? And how long would any of that last? Eren I’m a college dropout. What the fuck would I ever be able to do without any degree?”

“ _You make me fucking sick_.” Eren spits out, he smashes both hands on the ceramic and slowly gets up, “What happened to getting through rough and illness? Is this your way of keeping a relationship? Because it’s not fucking working.” Eren stands up, yanks away Levi’s glass and takes both to the sink, already tired from having to keep up a conversation with him. _If I’m not drinking you’re not drinking too, asshole._

“You fucking piece of shit, who do you think I am? The same little baby mommy back in high school? Or some other fucking slut you can take your time with and then throw out of your place?” He stands above the sink, one glass put down and the other shaking under the too much force Eren was putting into holding it, “I don’t _need_ you to fucking take care of me anymore and I don’t _expect_ \- Ah _fuck!”_ It finally breaks under the unbearable pressure. “Exactly what I _fucking_ need!”

Eren hurriedly opens the sink and lets the wound ease under the running water, cursing to himself and imagining how it would’ve been more effective if he had let the latter fuck him while they were at it. _You sound more sensible when you’re trying to maintain the perfect sex position._

 _‘So far it has’_ Levi’s voice echoes in his head, _well to fuck with you and the way you think._ He lets the sound of the rush of water take over his mind and blur out any occurring thoughts.

“We’re more than just a normal couple and you know it.” Levi finally breaks through Eren’s attempt at keeping his mind at bay when he finds the first aid kit in a bottom cabinet in the corner of the kitchen. “You won’t manage without me and neither will I without you.” He opens the kit and searches for a gauze and some antibiotics to help stop any upcoming infections, his efforts are useless because all the things are staring right back at him but he’s too focused on spelling out his thoughts to even notice the obvious supplies, “So you better stop talking about me like I’m just some other fucking ‘partner’ of yours and get your shit straight because I’m getting tired of the way you think of us.” Levi almost sounds offended. _'Some other fucking slut',_ Eren's voice tugs at his chest.

“Now let me take a look at your hand.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> erection? more like erention amirite


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What are you..? Delaying a foot appointment?”
> 
> -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow ok idk why i took so long to update this chapter and all but ig u could say i havent been feeling the best cuz fuck covid and quarantine and everything yada yada
> 
> sorry if you've been waiting

They spend the next few days keeping their distance from one another, the only interactions happen when either one of them is hungry and asks what the other would like to eat and when Levi changes Eren’s bandage because he’s too clumsy to do it himself. They don’t even sleep in the same bed, much to Levi’s contempt, but he can’t argue otherwise. He doesn’t want to ‘rush things’ on the boy, something anyone who knew them well enough would scoff at.

Levi had believed this was by far the best ‘unspoken agreement’ they’ve made for a long while, telepathically deciding to ignore each other for as long as it took them to relieve their thoughts. Eren would beg to differ, what with each passing second, he does _anything_ but exactly that; Eren can’t help but fall deeper into it, thinking about what Levi had told him a few days ago, ‘ _and let **him** confiscate all our belongings?_’

 _So what happens now? You fucked up._ Eren looks over at where Levi’s sitting by the end of the comfortable dining table in the corner of the small living room, one knee against his chest, coffee in his cup and a book in front of him. _He won’t just let you be. You also mentioned Jean; I didn’t even know he was involved. What the fuck?_

Levi sighs, “I can feel you drilling your eyes in my skull. What is it?” He places the cup on the table and throws his hand over his knee, waiting for Eren’s response. He’s not annoyed, per say, just the dread of having to actually talk about everything washes over him in an uncomfortable manner. He’s also not a child, so running from his problems isn’t in his forte, he deals with them head on, crashes through every wall when it’s the time for it and his mind lets him breathe for once, usually by himself. _Mostly_ by himself.

“Do you want to just pretend four days ago didn’t happen?”

“Well we _did_ connectively decide to ignore each other for a few days and I was hoping to do exactly that. Yes, yes I do want to pretend four days ago didn’t happen, for just only a bit longer. Is that okay with you or do you wanna fucking talk about it and ruin our peace again? I’ve been in jail for three months, I think I deserve some rest.”

“We won’t fix anything if we don’t _talk._ ”

“We _will,_ I promise. But there’s no rush in the matter. Believe me, you don’t need to worry about it. At least for now you don’t.”

“You’ve promised a lot of things before.” Eren mumbles.

“ _Eren._ ”

“Well what do you _mean_ ‘at least for now’ I don’t have to worry. You won’t even tell me what there is to worry about and you expect me not to lose my damn mind!? Levi, I’m going mad over here.”

“What’s fucking new? This is Erwin we’re talking about for fucks sake. I just- I just need to get my mind straight. Trust me when I say we’ve got time, alright? I promise as soon as you start slowly losing your sanity we’ll talk things over.”

“What are you..? Delaying a foot appointment? This isn’t just some little ‘bump’ on the road we can get over. It’s a fucking hurricane on our asses waiting for us to just look into the rear mirror. How much longer do you wanna _rest_ before we’re fucked in the ass again?” Eren blabbers and goes out of breath. As soon as he completely turns on the couch to face the other, he notices Levi’s tolerance had dropped to zero percent. “Okay, _fine. I trust you,_ whatever. Take as much time as you want.” Eren speaks the last sentence in a higher voice in his attempt of a mockery and gives up, throwing his hands in the air, frustrated, “But you’re going to have to give me some answers sooner or later.”

Eren scrolls through the shows on TV, none of them grabs his attention, or maybe he’s not focused enough to let them grab it.

 _What was Jean doing there?_ He can’t help but wonder. _You ass, all these questions are suffocating me and you just sit there with your stupid book, should’ve broken up with you when I had the chance._ Knowing he would never do that under any circumstances, he still likes the sound of it right now. _Did you two fight?_

“I’m going to bathe, order whatever you want if I end up passing out.”

It’s not unusual for Levi to announce he’s going to take a bath; it’s not unusual for any of the two. However, Levi’s tone makes his head perk up, trying to analyze if there was any meaning behind it or maybe he’s just gone into his overthinking lane.

The water starts running and so does the Olympic athlete on the TV screen. _Come on!_ Eren cheers on someone he had randomly chosen amidst the tall running figures. _Come on, you can do it!_

Once again, his attention is far from anywhere near the TV when he focuses on the figure moving in the corner of his eye; he raises an eyebrow when he can see Levi taking off his clothes, the man hadn’t bothered to close the door behind him. He cocks up the brow even higher when a thought passes through his head, _why would I want to order anything this time of the day? You sneaky little bitch._

“If you wanted me to join you could’ve just said so.” Eren grins.

“Took you long enough.” Levi shrugs and enters the bathtub, waiting for the other to join in as well and ruin his calm with his tall lanky legs.

Eren’s already half naked by the time he enters the bathroom, the only thing covering his tanned skin, bright blue boxers.

Levi shamelessly checks out the curve of Eren’s ass when he finally takes the garment off and throws it into the hamper, wondering where the rest of Eren’s clothes had been thrown away. “You seem ecstatic.” Levi snickers.

“Figured bathing could help keep my mind off things.” Eren says as he lowers himself into the somewhat bubbly water. It’s kind of ironic, since by ‘things’ he means the same person he’s about to share a bath with.

“Not enough bubbles?” Levi asks, amused.

“I’d like there to be more, yeah. But this is enough for me.” Eren replies, struggling to find a way to place his legs so it’s not awkward for the two. _I’d also say having **you** here is enough for me, but currently seeing you decapitated is more appealing to my eyes, _the thought makes the corner of his mouth curl up and wow he really _does_ want to kill Levi huh.

“What’s so funny?”

“Was just fantasizing about you, nothing too steamy though. You had your decapitated head up on a spike like a prop from Game of Thrones.” He’s still struggling, if not he’d look up and send his narrowed eyes at Levi’s face but no, his legs don’t seem to be cooperating.

“You’re very generous.”

“Tell me about it.” Eren stops and does look up this time, even if it’s for only a second he just has to show the most unimpressed look he can manage.

“Have you spoken to my parents recently?” Levi asks, absentmindedly looking away, focusing his eyes on the patterns spread across the shower curtain.

“What? Why’re you suddenly talking about them?” Eren tilts his head, letting his aggravation from just a few seconds ago when Levi hadn’t even spared a look on Eren’s best attempt at mocking him go away.

“I don’t know” he shrugs, his fingers trace the foggy flowers, “just curios if they called or anything. They didn’t come see me in prison.”

“Fuck them.”

Levi has been waiting this entire time; it _is_ amusing seeing Eren frown unknowingly and grunt when he can’t seem to find the perfect spot to relax his legs, but Levi doesn’t know how much longer he can endure the water splashing against his blank face. He doesn’t know how much longer he can pretend he’s too focused on the tiles or the curtain to feel annoyed by Eren’s struggles.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Levi finally makes a move to stop Eren’s helpless efforts to fit himself in the bathtub, “I knew you’d fucking manage to ruin my calm.” He moves to sit between Eren’s legs, giving him more foot place and less distance from himself. He doesn’t really have to sit this close to Eren, should he sit between his calves would be helpful enough. Nonetheless, he sits so close to him that he can feel their fronts brush against each other.

“Well hello there.” Eren smirks, “That was uncalled for.” He finally stills his struggles, his hands spread on both side of the tub and his eyes travel all around Levi’s figure. It’s unwantedly relaxing . “Is this some sort of apology in my regards? Because so far it’s _kinda_ working, I must admit.”

“I’ve got nothing to apologize for, you brat.” Levi says half-heartedly, throwing both his arms over Eren’s shoulders and moving closer to the boy. Eren on the other hand, throws back his head when the small move burns a pleasure deep down within his whole being.

“I missed you.” It leaves his lips without much thought. He stares at the white ceiling, the steam blurring his sight. ‘ _Would you rather sleep on the fucking streets or be able to suck my dick under a safe roof without any worries?’_ and with that he breathes in a deep breath, closes his eyes and tries to fight his uneasiness at the words.

“Well _that_ was surely uncalled for.” Levi moves even closer, making Eren quickly move his head back to look at him, all thoughts perishing. “I missed you too.” He continues, moving in to kiss the boy with a slight rock in his hips.

.

 _How can I not_? He wonders from where he lies on the mattress. _I love you too much not to._

“You haven’t said it.”

“What?”

“ _You know_ , you haven’t said it since we’ve seen each other again.”

“I haven’t said a lot of things since we’ve seen each other Eren. Exactly _which one_ are you blathering about?”

“You know,” Eren repeats, looking up to meet Levi’s eyes, resting his chin on the man’s collarbone, “You know what I’m talking about.” And for a moment, Levi believes that he’s cursed with an Eren who has the ability to read his mind and hear his thoughts.

Levi looks back at him, looks back at the gaze in Eren’s eyes, _beautiful._ He runs a hand through the boy’s hair and lets it stay there by the end of his locks, on the crook of Eren’s neck. “It suits you a lot.” He says, wandering his eyes over Eren’s now long and messed up hair.

Before Eren can open his mouth and say anything, Levi’s pulling on the back of his neck, kissing him on the lips. Eren doesn’t resist, he only lets the latter take control of whatever he had wanted to do and enjoys the moment. Levi hums and Eren smiles on his lips.

Eren, keen to have Levi’s lips on his for a bit longer, follows back Levi as he moves to detach them and lets the kiss last a bit longer. When Levi’s finally out of his reach, Eren drops his head on the pillow besides Levi and it’s not long before their positions are swapped and Levi’s leaving small pecks on his cheek and neck before he rests his head on Eren’s shoulder and mumbles something right where he had pecked prior to that.

“I love you too.” Eren says.

  
  
  



End file.
